Friday jokes
Friday jokes
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles, from behind the mask "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies :
"I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his peni$ in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, "No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.....
" A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?"
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I was expecting an important telephone call the other night, so I slept with my mobile under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone and all there was in its place was a shiny new fifty pence piece.
d@mn that Bluetooth Fairy.
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My mate was all chuffed with his new Polish girlfriend - drop dead gorgeous, nice girl etc. so he asked her to move in. he was a bit disappointed that it took her 5 hours to hoover the flat. Turned out she was Slovak.
JDM black headlights, rear fog light conversion, JDM size number plates, JDM rear number plate garnish, JDM dash tray, wind deflectors, TRD body kit, white TRD gearknob, TTE lowering springs, TTE ARB's, K&N air filter, stainless steel A/C rings, stainless clock cover, radiator cooling panel, LED side light bulbs, blue reversing bulbs, fan washer jets, clear side repeaters, PIAA silicone wipers, Alpine IDA-X200 headunit, 17 x 8 et40 OZ Ultraleggera with 225/45/17 Toyo Proxes T-1R
I'm off on holiday next week, so here are a few jokes :Fish:
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles, from behind the mask "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies :
"I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his peni$ in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, "No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.....
" A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was expecting an important telephone call the other night, so I slept with my mobile under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone and all there was in its place was a shiny new fifty pence piece.
d@mn that Bluetooth Fairy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My mate was all chuffed with his new Polish girlfriend - drop dead gorgeous, nice girl etc. so he asked her to move in. he was a bit disappointed that it took her 5 hours to hoover the flat. Turned out she was Slovak.
JDM black headlights, rear fog light conversion, JDM size number plates, JDM rear number plate garnish, JDM dash tray, wind deflectors, TRD body kit, white TRD gearknob, TTE lowering springs, TTE ARB's, K&N air filter, stainless steel A/C rings, stainless clock cover, radiator cooling panel, LED side light bulbs, blue reversing bulbs, fan washer jets, clear side repeaters, PIAA silicone wipers, Alpine IDA-X200 headunit, 17 x 8 et40 OZ Ultraleggera with 225/45/17 Toyo Proxes T-1R
:lol: @ Bluetooth and Slovak :lol:
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